"Hotel" (Photography)

 "Hotel"

Captured on a Canon EOS 800D

Diary Of a Conflicted Vampire Alien Parasite

“Diary Of a Conflicted Vampire Alien Parasite” 

Sometimes, I wonder what everybody thinks about me; I try to picture myself in their mind and try to understand how I am being perceived. 

Sometimes, I wonder why I think the way that I do. Why can’t I understand my mind, my home, my own body? 

Sometimes, the world feels so angry. I can’t understand the hostility, the extremism, the hatred. Sometimes I feel like it’s impossible to understand it... and I just become angry myself.

Sometimes, I wonder why. Why all of this has happened. All of the loneliness, all of the desire, hunger and misfortune... But there’s simply no answer. This has just happened. This is the way my world is, for now. 

Vampire

 “Vampire”

Crimson showers wash away morality and virtue, exposing thirst and aridity in the soil of divine law. Lustful eyes, dangerous tears; begging for the draw to end and the gears to stop whilst you are crying for more. You are dying for his satisfaction. 

This is one of the poems i’ve written that I have put off adding to my blog because it’s very grotesque… but I like it. 

“Vampire” 

Because it’s B&W it isn’t as apparent but I played around with some different lighting; I used a lower blue light to define more shapes in the photograph, and a yellow light overhead to help the camera pick up on the entirety of the subject. 

You could say the blue light defines muscle and the yellow light defines bone structure.

(Photography: "Genus Corvus")

 "Genus Corvus"

(Taken on a Canon EOS 800D)

This photograph was heavily inspired by gothic horror cinematography -- especially from films that were shot in the early-to-mid 1930's.

Note that was slid under the door

 Update

New synth is almost finished :) Looking forward to sharing it. I also have almost completed my own line of photography, so that’ll get put on here too! Thank you for reading !

A Tired Boy’s Affirmations (Be Your Own Muse)

 “A Tired Boy’s Affirmations (Be Your Own Muse)”

Feel it overcome you and bubble over all your senses; let it consume you, let it erupt out of you, let the cuffs and chains melt and burn: let it seep back into the earth.

There’s no point being afraid, don’t value the fears that stop you from living. Don’t trace the outline of the mirror — reach your hand up to your reflection and feel the universe reaching back.

Secretary (2002) Film Review

 Secretary (2002)

...Assume The Position.

Secretary, written and directed by Steven Shainberg, is a story that follows Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a nervous, socially awkward young woman with a history of self abuse. Subsequent to her release from a mental institution, she is hired as a Secretary for a high demand lawyer – Mr. Edward Grey (James Spader). The film follows their growth of an erotic, sadomasochistic relationship. 

In a world where sexuality takes such a predominant position in film and television, Secretary represents a different kind of erotica that is devastatingly in-absentia within the art of moving pictures. The content and theme of this film is established within the opening scene, with Lee Halloway picking up a fax with her mouth; since her hands are bound by a heavy-duty S&M restraint, holding her arms out by her sides. A beautiful full-shot follows; Lee makes her way down Edward’s hallway (impeccable colour design, the office setting is breathtakingly decorated), slamming the door once she reaches his main office. This film doesn’t necessarily argue that S&M relationships are better-or-worse than a more typical one, more that sexuality is fluid and complex, and can be real reflections into what a person is thinking (or their mental state in general). Lee uses the masochism as a substitute for her own self-abuse; which, on paper, sounds extremely unhealthy, but the film shows that sadism is far more complicated than just being kinky. It is expressed as a form of art and love. Lee wasn't craving to be harmed, she was craving love; and Edward’s infliction of pain was followed by aftercare and (some kind of) affection; the audience, Lee and Edward can all feel the passion and consideration between them. A clear symbolistic choice from the director was Edward and his purple orchard. His close attention and care for the flowers in his office is a direct mirror-in-behaviour of what Lee was craving from him from the very start: dominating love and care. This is far different to the movie that it is commonly compared to, which is 50 Shades Of Grey. Fuck off, that film is rapey as shit and that fuck-ass guy just likes hurting women. 

Maggie Gyllenhaal's character is… well-written, to a point. She is gawky and awkward, sure, but there's certainly a lack in intelligence that comes off as quite demeaning – almost inspired by the damsel-in-distress archetype. This isn't extremely apparent, but enough to wish for a more developed protagonist. Although there are flaws present in her writing, I do love Lee’s character… but I think that is just because she's slightly a blank canvas! Her writing is similar to Bella Swan’s (Twilight) characterisation, which is infamous for being unimaginative and flavorless. 

James Spader's character is a little different – he is far more complex, far more developed. Although he is dominant and masochistic, he remains depicted as a quirky, nervous and, may I add, an unconventionally-cute-type character. Other examples of that archetype can be most of Paul Dano’s or Micheal Cera’s depictions in film – except if you made them lowkey super perverted and uhh stuff. I’m not complaining, Edward Grey is one of my favourite characters, not only from this film, but in all cinematic universes! 

Overall, this is definitely one of my favourite films of all time. The graceful representation of masochism is quite beautiful, with an extremely artistic take on what it means, how it's experienced and the mentality behind it. When I refer to Myself directing films, this is exactly what I have in mind – where the hell are all the erotic thrillers! I’m a Slut for you! Anyway, great film. If you havent seen it yet, please do :)

Telstra Pay Phone

“Telstra Pay Phone”

We sit between two whispering lips and sly smiles — kisses are drunk and narrow: never to be remembered.